I wasn't exactly sure what to expect today. I feel like there has been this great anticipation for getting my dad off the ventilator, and a huge celebration when we finally did. Rightfully so, it was a great milestone and I am SO relieved to have reached it. But getting him off the ventilator is really only the first very small step. Removing the tube in his throat does not fix the infection in his brain. But removing the tube in his throat does make it possible for us to really start the recovery process.
He has a lesion in his temporal lobe from the viral infection and that will take time to heal. The temporal lobe of the brain controls things like memory, language comprehension, categorizing words, and naming things/people. Knowing that and understanding that it's a very slow healing process, my expectation for today was wide open. Even though he showed great promise last night, I just didn't know how it would go.
He is still exhausted and definitely jumbled a bit in the old noggin, but honestly all things considered he's doing excellent. I knew going into this that he may come off the ventilator and potentially not talk at all for weeks, he may not recognize me for awhile, he may have extensive problems with speech. But he's absolutely exceeded my expectations and is doing so well.
The fact that he's even talking at all already, much less in full sentences is really good. He answers many questions correctly when asked, but sometimes is off just slightly. Like this morning he guessed January for the month and 2012 for the year. Or one time he gave his birthday but was off by two days. He does have a slight change to his speech. He also doesn't seem to have any recall of the days leading up to his illness. But he was easily able to say that he went to college at Penn State and answer "Finn" when asked who his grandson is. It just takes him some time to come to the answer and then say it. He had some trouble remembering "Zoey" at first, but he did ultimately remember her name on his own. When I showed him some photos, he couldn't always name everyone in the photo but I'm certain he knows who they are, the words just have a hard time coming to him in this very early phase of the healing process.
And that's something that's important to emphasize. It's so early in the healing process. His brain still has an infection in it, which he continues to receive medication for. It will be a slow process of weeks and months to get him well. But he's definitely on the right road.
As for me, I've had lots of questions asking how I'm doing and I'm chugging along one day at a time too. Today was my first full day back at work. It was an emotional day, I found myself bursting into tears for no good reason at all throughout the morning. Someone asked me for a paper towel and out of nowhere the water works started. It actually made me laugh, it was so ridiculous. So there I was, laughing and crying all at the same time, over a stupid paper towel. Just a lot of emotions running rampant that apparently decide to release themselves whenever they wanted! But despite how overloaded I feel, I was glad to get my brain wrapped around something different for awhile. And it's great that I can just run upstairs and see my Dad whenever I want. I've said it so many times already, but I'm SO glad to be back here.
And I do love how proactive HMC is in his care. They were very assertive with getting him off the ventilator. And on his first full day off the vent, he already had OT/PT (occupational therapy/physical therapy) in his room to work on his mobility. But I find it funny that he wouldn't get out of bed for PT, then later his nurse said he took it upon himself to get out of bed all on his own. Figures he'd want to do it on his own terms! But at least now we know he CAN get out of bed and walk a bit.
I think what he needs most right now is lots of love, positivity, support, and patience. He will continue to get better over the weeks that come, but he needs our familiar faces and kind encouraging words. We must be patient because although he's not at his best today, he's so much better than where he was a week ago, and HE WILL GET THERE. I know it. And let's all remind him of it too.
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